Cook Puts His Pubes On Cops Breakfast Sandwich

Winner

Before you go any further, read this story here. This guy is going about this all wrong. So he’s working at the local breakfast joint whipping up breakfast sandwiches left and right and sees some cop walk in. The cop previously gave him a traffic ticket, so this douche Ryan Burke thinks he’s gonna get him back. He goes back in the kitchen trims some chest and pubic hair and puts it right on the cops bagel sandwich. Could he be any less discrete? It is so obvious when you have a hair in your mouth, let alone some scumbag cooks pile of pubes. Listen, I understand the guy wants to get back at the cop for the probably $20 ticket he gave him, but you are literally guaranteed to get this way. Get him back by spitting in it or placing some other substance that is harder to distinguish from the greasy breakfast mix on the bagel. Not saying he was right or I would do this, but Ryan next time you want to pull a prank like this at least use some fucking common sense, I cant think of one person who deserves a 15 day jail sentence more than you do. Reminds me of this scene in Super Troopers when Farva is getting his lunch.

Classic Clip of the Day: Spicoli Orders a Pizza

Sorry for the shitty quality on this one but I figured this was a good clip to start off with. From the classic Fast Times at Ridgemont High, stoner Jeff Spicoli played by a young Sean Penn orders a sausage pizza delivery to his class room in the middle of a lecture. Probably my favorite part from one of my favorite comedies of all time, and yeah its on par and may just be better than Dazed and Confused. Enjoy the clip, leave some comments.

What do you guys think about making this classic clip of the day a little thing here at SITB, a nice way to end the day. Funny or cool clip from some of our and your favorite movies or TV shows. I like it so we’re going to go for it, hopefully you guys like it too. The way to make this better is to leave suggestions on our Facebook Page or in the comments after the posts. Hope to hear some good ones and don’t give any shitty suggestions trying to be funny only good ones.

Spicoli About to Enjoy his Sausage Pizza

Random Wacky NY Yankees Fact

Watching the Yankees game today I heard a fact that blew my mind. From last season to this season, the Yankees are starting the same 4 infielders and same 3 outfielders. Ok, impressive, but what is insane was that this is the first time this has happened to the Yanks since 1927! Yes, 1927 of the Murderers Row, how the hell has this not happened once in almost 85 years?! Well thats all I got for you now, enjoy the rest of opening day.

WUDDUPP!

Just wanted to say whatsup to everyone.  As Rob “Money” Mayers has already tweeted, facebooked, and blogged about.  I will be bringing my talents to the Somewhere In The Between Blog.

For those of you (the 4 people who probably read this blog right now, if that many) who don’t know me.  I work in sales for a company that manufactures sports novelties and collectibles.  One of my various responsibilities is responding to all emails sent to the company via the website.  While this sounds like a miserable responsibility, it sometimes does give me new customers, which is cool because that is a big way for me to grow my business.  But anyways, last year we were a big manufacturer of the “silly bandz” for sports…take a look at one of the truly amazing emails that I received from a disgruntled consumer.

Message: Hi,

 “Sorry to start your day off with a complaint, but I’m compelled to write.  My son, an 8-year old, was excited to use his gift card yesterday.  He wanted to buy silly bands, those rubber bracelets that seems to be the new craze.  He decided to buy the “NFL Logo Bandz”. He had previously bought Looney Tunes which were perfectly fine.  The NFL bandz are the worse bands ever!  They are so small that they’re cutting off his circulation.  At first I thought he had layered them, and then he showed me.  This is a dangerous product.  I know…you’re probably thinking “fat boy”.  But actually my son is of average size.  He’s not overweight or a mini monster.  He plays soccer and baseball concurrently.  He’s just a regular-sized kid. So, not only did he purchase a harmful product, he totally wasted his money and is bummed that I won’t let him wear his new purchase.  I am trying to stretch them out on a Coke can.  I don’t have the receipt, so I can’t try and return them.  All I have is the empty package.  Open one for yourself and see.  Very disappointing. I expected more from a product with the NFL logo on it.  Shame on you for disappointing little boys everywhere.”

Now I could go on for days commenting about how ridiculous this person is.   I mean lets be serious ” trying to stretch them out on a Coke can”.  Cmon!! “disappointing little boys everywhere.”  some of this shit is just laughable.  Who actually takes time out of their day to send this email?  Were not talking about a Toyota with non-functioning breaks here.  We are talking about a product that costs $4.99 at retail and is being made 1,000,000 pieces at a time by people who speak no english at all.  Don’t get me wrong, some of these bandz are tight on me….but this email only scratches the surface of some of the ridiculous messages I get. 

Thats all I have for now, how you enjoyed my first post, there will be many more to come.  Hopefully I can live up to the hype that “Money” Mayers has given me.

Time to get back to the grind. But before I go, take a look at my awesome office. If anyone can name more than 30 bobbles in the photo, I’ll give you a free bobble

-Abramo, Out!

5 Foot 10 Inch Tall NBA Guard Earns My Respect

JJ Barea, a 5 foot 10 inch guard of the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks is known for being much shorter than the majority of his NBA opponents. Despite his small frame, he is never intimidated by other players and certainly isn’t intimidated by gorgeous women, especially former Miss Universe. That’s right. Not Miss America or Miss Random Country. Miss whole wide Universe. Barea is now dating her and according to him, all it took was a simple text to get Miss Universe’s attention. He is now in competition with former NBA player Marco Jaric for having the hottest significant other in the NBA  (Jaric is happily married to Victoria Secret model Adriana Lima). You gotta give big props to little JJ.

Good work, JJ.

Read more about it here

 

A New Chapter in SITB: The Abramo Years

Dom Abramo seen here in the 2008-09 Prospect Year

Well, things needed to get shaken up a bit. Things were slow, we need some more readers, views, fans etc. For these reasons we have decided to add a new member to the SITB team. Dom Abramo brings a versatilty and wit that is unmatched by others. Say what you want about the guy, but it is clear that he will help bring SITB to new heights. He has high hopes and only yesterday promised 100 new readers by next week. That being said we have lofty expectations of the guy, but he does bring a diverse new distribution channel which should help. That being said, we extend a warm welcome to Dominick James Abramo.

Bronx Zoo Cobra Now Tweeting

The Infamous Cobra

This may be old news by now but if you haven’t heard about it or checked it out there is a great fake Twitter account for the still missing Bronx Zoo Cobra. You can check out the page HERE or just search on Twitter @BronxZoosCobra. It’s got almost 200,000 followers already and it posts some pretty hilarious stuff. Leave some comments on your favorite ones. And also, can anyone confirm or deny a rumor that the snake was stolen and the thief plans to release it at Yankee Stadium today? Sounds like the plot of a movie John Voight or Val Kilmer could star in as the villains with a badass Keanu Reeves as the hero to take on the cobra before it is unleashed on the thousands of unsuspecting fans. I’d see that movie.

A ‘Female’ Indiana Jones? I don’t think so.

Not Indiana Jones

Stumbled across an article today called “Adventures of the ‘female Indiana Jones’“. I’m not sure why but it got me pretty fired up, like why compare some lady who goes on some adventures to one of the greatest and bravest movie characters of all time. Indiana Jones is a legend and his achievements should not be diminished to this lady Mireya Mayor. Here are some of her achievements: “She has discovered the world’s smallest primate in Madagascar, swum with unusually aggressive sharks in Mexico and chased after giraffes in Namibia.” I mean those are pretty cool and impressive feats, but compared to the trials and tribulations that Indy had to go through in his pursuit of the Holy Grail make those things look like childs play. The article would’ve been fine if it just gave a story about this adventurous woman, told some tales and left it at that, but they had to compare her to an immortal. Not gonna fly. Go chase some more giraffes lady.

You Know How I Know the Phillies are Gay?

Well its really only two aces and two ok pitchers.

Look at that shirt. That is a real shirt that they are selling. Good for you getting Lee and Halladay blah blah, but the “Phour Aces” has got to be one of the lamest shirts I have ever seen. Here at SITB we have three Yankee fans and one unfortuante Met fan who I’m not sure even wants to admit it at this point. But the one thing that brings us together is the fact that we all hate the Phillies. And in what world is Roy Oswalt  still an ace, the guys pushing 40 and probably wont make it though the season injury free. And also, in what world was Cole Hamels ever an ace. Give me some teams that would be happy saying that Cole Hamels is their #1 starter. Maybe a few, MAYBE, but the guy has been nothing but inconsistent since he played out of his mind in the 2008 World Series. Well whatever, we at SITB are all pumped baseball starts tomorrow and are kind of relishing in the fact that the Yankees are getting overlooked for the division and even in some cases the wild card. Go get em guys, looking forward to a fun chase for #28. And if any of our readers are Phillies fans, enjoy the season and I hope they choke and the Braves win the division. And if any of those Phillies fans are interested, HERE IS A LINK for one of those lame shirts.

This Snow is Fo’ REAL??

This is actually happening.

This just does not stop! As I’m leaving my apartment on my lunch break, enjoying the lovely weather we are having today, my upstairs neighbor informs me not to get used to it and that there is going to be snow and rain tomorrow…are you freakin kidding me? This weather has got to be a joke right? April is around the corner and theres gonna be another 6″-12″ snow storm, I got depressed that last snow storm but this one could put me over the edge, shits getting ridiculous. Check out the report HERE from weather.com. They said some shit about there being a combo of heavy winds and heavy, wet snow which could lead to power outages…sounds like the start of a great weekend. Cannot wait until I can move to somewhere where I don’t have to deal with this nonsense. Looking forward to cleaning off the car in the AM. Leave us some comments, am I complaining too much or is this snow seriously becoming the biggest pain in the ass that just wont stop?